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I spent two years in Norway, from
1997-99, during which time I started, and almost finished:
Hell is in Norway,
My life as an exile
Hell is in Norway
sets out to explode some of the myths surrounding this supposedly
just, caring country. The reality is shown to be closer to 1984,
and has more in common with the Soviet Union than a modern
democracy.
Everyday events and news items
are used as the framework to illustrate the reality of living in
this Police State, where people are reduced to identity numbers and
spend half their lives in queues. Where the police have the right
to stop and search and they propose to circumvent a constitutional
ban on police video surveillance by subcontracting it to private
security forces.
It is a land where you can buy
meat from whales and other endangered species, but where there are
only two types of cheese. You can only buy wine before 5 o’clock and
not at all at weekends and even then only at outrageous prices from
the Vinmonopolet, the one off-licence in town (run by the
government). A country claiming to have the most advanced social
welfare provision in the world, but where it costs £10 to see a GP
and callers to the emergency services are answered by a recorded
message and put on hold.
Not surprisingly it has one of
the world’s highest suicide rates. Social justice means that
hairdressers earn more than university professors and plumbers
charge £500 to change a tap and get away with it. It is an
advanced, high tech economy with an electrical system built to the
same specification as Albania’s and where, as a result, they have
more domestic electrical fires than any other country in Europe.
But it is not all scathing
cynicism. As a concession to the Norwegian tourist industry, the
book admits that there is some stunning scenery, although it points
out that you will have to find it for yourself because they are not
the most service-minded nation on earth. |
Life in Norway
Big Brother is watching you…for your own good
Crime & Punishment
The Police
The Law of Averages
Norwegian Service
War & Peace
Buying a house
Competition
Transport of delight
Food
Language
Not the nine o’clock news
Tradesmen
Energy & the environment
The National Budget
Norwegian History
Teetolitarianism
I am not a number- I am a
free man
Names
Fascism
The good thing about Norway
Norway is a fine country
Smiling
Scandinavians
Norwegian women
Systems, Projects, Courses,
Administration & Meetings
Queues
Religion & Hypocrisy
Dugnad
Norwegian tax havens
Art & Culture
Life & Death
Ambassadors of Hell
A weekend in Hell
Hells Angels
Education & Stupidity
Driving
Road safety
The Health Service
Sport
Banks
Equality in the workplace
A SAD country
Lies and adverts
The weather
Cultural stereotypes
The biggest and best
The tunnel
The Values Commission
Beating the system
Universal Declaration of Human Rights
Parochialism
Christmas in the UK
New year in Norway
The nanny state
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